{"id":19750,"date":"2018-11-29T15:48:24","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T22:48:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.uchealth.org\/today\/?p=19750"},"modified":"2019-12-03T15:25:32","modified_gmt":"2019-12-03T22:25:32","slug":"8-year-old-finds-purpose-after-fathers-death","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uchealth.org\/today\/8-year-old-finds-purpose-after-fathers-death\/","title":{"rendered":"8-year-old finds purpose after father\u2019s death"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><figure id=\"attachment_19752\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19752\" style=\"width: 1200px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-19752\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72.webp\" alt=\"Marlie Walker with all the stuffed animals she collected.\" width=\"1200\" height=\"796\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72.webp 1200w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72-300x199.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72-1024x679.webp 1024w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72-768x509.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72-150x100.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153327\/Marlie-with-all-stuffies_72-200x133.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19752\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marlie Walker collected 616 stuffed animals to donate to UCHealth Poudre Valley Hospital Emergency Room.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>A Fort Collins&#8217; Bauder Elementary second grader, Marlie Walker, glowed as she walked down the emergency room hallway at UCHealth Poudre Valley Hospital on Monday, Nov. 27.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19755\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19755\" style=\"width: 450px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-19755\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72.webp\" alt=\"Marlie walking down hallway with family while UCHealth staff clap.\" width=\"450\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72.webp 1200w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72-300x200.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72-1024x683.webp 1024w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72-768x512.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72-150x100.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153646\/Stuffies_Marlie-walking-into-ER_72-200x133.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19755\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marlie walked down the hallway of UCHealth PVH ER to deliver 616 donated animals with family by her side and a group of UCHealth staff lining the hallway in thanks.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>In her arms, Marlie, 8, clutched a slightly worn green stuffed octopus and a brand-new white unicorn. Her mother, Taylor Strope, followed closely behind, also holding several new stuffed animals, while relatives pushed two large stacks of green bins.<\/p>\n<p>The bins held 616 stuffed animals that Marlie collected to donate to PVH. But the green octopus in her arms was hers. It was her dad\u2019s favorite color.<\/p>\n<p>Emmy, which is what Marlie named the octopus, was given to her by UCHealth registered nurse Reatha Blumenthal as something to hold on to when a big part of Marlie\u2019s life crumpled. Now, six months after her father\u2019s death, Marlie is determined to give other grieving kids the same comfort she got while she waited in the ER for word about her father.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want to help kids going through a hard time like me,\u201d she told a room full of UCHealth nurses, administrators and reporters on Monday.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19757\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19757\" style=\"width: 231px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-19757 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72.webp\" alt=\"PVH ER nurse and Marlie talk\" width=\"231\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72.webp 771w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72-231x300.webp 231w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72-768x996.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72-116x150.webp 116w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153656\/Stuffies_Reatha_Marlie_72-200x259.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 231px) 100vw, 231px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19757\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Emmy, which is what Marlie, right, named the octopus she&#8217;s holding, was given to her by UCHealth registered nurse Reatha Blumenthal, left, as something to hold on to when she was at PVH ER six months ago.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Blumenthal remembers that day she gave Marlie the octopus and the nurse was there on Monday to thank Marlie for the gifts she was giving. Her mom was also happy to be able to see Blumenthal again \u2014 reunions are somewhat rare occasions for ER nurses.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShe\u2019s a brave kid,\u201d Blumenthal said.<\/p>\n<p>On June 29, Blumenthal was about to get off her shift when Marlie\u2019s father, 27-year-old Cody Walker, was transported to PVH after crashing his motorcycle head-on into traffic. Blumenthal stayed to help Marlie and her family, who spent more than three hours in the ER, during which time Cody succumbed to his injuries.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19751\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19751\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-19751\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153322\/cody2_72.webp\" alt=\"Cody Walker\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153322\/cody2_72.webp 720w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153322\/cody2_72-300x225.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153322\/cody2_72-150x113.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153322\/cody2_72-200x150.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19751\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cody Walker<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m happy to see and know that Marlie has found a little purpose, something to help her move through the grieving process,\u201d Blumenthal said.<\/p>\n<p>Giving a child a stuffed animal is a common practice to provide comfort and ease anxiety while children are in the ER.<\/p>\n<p>A few months after her father died, Marlie asked her mom about collecting stuffed animals for other kids in the emergency room.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe saw the impact it made on Marlie, so we thought it would be pretty special to be able to make that impact for others,\u201d Strope said.<\/p>\n<p>And so the \u201cStuffies for Emergencies\u201d drive began on Nov. 1 \u2014 Cody\u2019s birthday. The family collected stuffed animals through Thanksgiving and a huge surprise came on the first day, her father\u2019s birthday.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19753\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19753\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-19753\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72.webp\" alt=\"Marlie with a surprised face and a stack of boxes on her doorstep.\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72.webp 1000w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72-300x300.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72-150x150.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72-768x768.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153330\/marlies-gets-a-delivery_72-200x200.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19753\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marlie Walker received a special surprise on her doorstep on the first day of her drive, which was also her dad&#8217;s birthday.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cAlmost 10 boxes came on the first day \u2014 there were so many boxes,\u201d Marlie said with a big smile. \u201cI just want to make kids as excited as I was when I got mine.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Strope was amazed by how many people came together to help her little girl, so much so that it may become an annual drive, she said.<\/p>\n<p>Marlie approves of UCHealth distributing the stuffed animals at all four of its emergency rooms in northern Colorado. Staff is working to place a special tag on each animal that will identify it is from Marlie, so her story of hope and love will continue.<\/p>\n<h3><strong>Child grief<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Children don\u2019t always grieve the same way as adults. Christina Gerteis, a licensed counselor with UCHealth Mountain Crest Behavioral Health Center in Fort Collins, Colorado, provides insight and tips into children\u2019s grief.<\/p>\n<p>Children may have more difficulty articulating their grief than adults and instead express it by acting out, exhibiting regressive behavior or having physical symptoms such as body aches or headaches. They may not want to separate from a parent, or they\u2019re afraid to sleep alone. And it might occur much later than an adult\u2019s grief.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19756\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19756\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-19756\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72.webp\" alt=\"Marlie sits on a hospital bed talking while her mother listens next to her.\" width=\"300\" height=\"204\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72.webp 1200w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72-300x204.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72-1024x695.webp 1024w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72-768x521.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72-150x102.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153650\/Stuffies_Marlie_mom_in-room-talking_72-200x136.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19756\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marlie talks about why she wanted to collect stuffed animals for PVH ER, while her mother sits by her side.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Families may consider skipping a holiday or ignoring a tradition, but Gerteis advises otherwise.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhile this might feel like a way to avoid further pain and sorrow, it typically is not the best strategy,\u201d she said. \u201cAvoidance of trauma reminders typically reinforces negative thoughts about the grief process and can become non-supportive to healthy healing and recovery.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she recommends a plan and bringing intention to memorializing and remembering a loved one who is deceased, much like Marlie Walker did with her Stuffies for Emergencies drive. Other ways include lighting candles, cooking a favorite meal, sharing stories, planting a favorite flower or visiting a special place.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_19754\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-19754\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-19754\" src=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72.webp\" alt=\"Marlie wearing sunglasses\" width=\"300\" height=\"203\" srcset=\"https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72.webp 1200w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72-300x203.webp 300w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72-1024x694.webp 1024w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72-768x520.webp 768w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72-150x102.webp 150w, https:\/\/uchealth-wp-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2018\/11\/29153642\/Stuffies_Marlie-famous-shades_72-200x136.webp 200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-19754\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Marlie Walker, looking like a star.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s a great way to model healthy coping and give opportunities to share the pleasant stories and valued memories of a loved one,\u201d Gerteis said. \u201cIt will be sad, but help tremendously with the grieving process.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When acute stress reactions and grief don\u2019t resolve naturally, they can transform into a much more significant condition called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which would likely require professional treatment, she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBeing of service to others and engaging in activities to promote awareness &#8211; while grief and deep loss can be painful &#8211; healing is also possible is a powerful message to spread to others,\u201d Gerteis said. \u201cWe are never alone in grief and sharing this message of recovery with others builds hope for all of us.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Fort Collins&#8217; Bauder Elementary second grader, Marlie Walker, glowed as she walked down the emergency room hallway at UCHealth Poudre Valley Hospital on Monday, Nov. 27. In her arms, Marlie, 8, clutched a slightly worn green stuffed octopus and a brand-new white unicorn. Her mother, Taylor Strope, followed closely behind, also holding several new [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2164,"featured_media":19752,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[235,4796],"class_list":["post-19750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-emergency-care","tag-grief-bereavement-support-groups"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.4 (Yoast SEO v27.4) - 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